Limericks

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There once was a man from Derry

Who looked like a young Brian Ferry

Until the end of his spliff 

Set fire to his quiff 

Still look like Ferry?,not very.

God bless the crew of the Titanic 

That night they were in a terrible panic

It couldn't have been nice

When the ship hit the ice 

And they had to wait four weeks for a mechanic

I like a good soak in the bath 

It's like a liquid osteopath 

They say it uses more power

Than having a shower 

I don't care you do the math

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There once was a fella called Tony

Who didn't want to thought a phoney

He went to great lengths 

To tell us his strengths 

So we knew he was fida bone.

God bless J Trump

While getting America out of a slump

He's giving us his lexicon

About the Muslim and the Mexican 

And becoming a political Forrest Gump.

A white haired old fella named Sydney

Had a defective right Kidney 

It seemed such a shame

Re removal of same

But he still had one left though did’n he.

They said that Boris has landed PM

Just as I was clearing my throat of phlegm

I was preparing to shout

“If that Hunt bloke is out

I’ll look forward to the Brexit mayhem”.

In Ireland the latest vogue 

Is to laugh at the UK and their prorogue 

The Tories are fecked 

And have lost our respect 

So mo thóin they can surely póg