Sailing away on the South China Sea
Dreaming of lie-ins and cups of tea
An interesting article on Radio 3
This new mattress means a lot to me.
The last one became worn and old
It dipped in the middle and felt quite cold
It was a popular model, one million sold
Said the label that was threadbare and bald.
It served us well, it serves us right
Even though it was a bag of shite
It's been sent to a place where there is no light
At the bottom of our local landfill site.
Now let the crazy dreams begin
Like when I dreamt I was Gunga Din
And let them all be free from sin
Or put them in the wheelie bin.
I swear the other night we were over old Baghdad
With the 40 thieves chasing us in a cab.
I could smell the incense and taste the kebabs
Oh, what a wonderful time we had.
We can ride the lightning, and shoot the breeze
And hit upon a wizard wheeze
All because we’ve eaten cheese
The things we do in times like these.
No sleeping tablets, no need to weep
No cocoa, Nytol or counting sheep
Don’t ring the doorbell or make a peep
Some of us are trying to sleep.